In this age of technology, it is easy to click and comment, click and share, click and post. Instant gratification occurs at the click of a button. Click, click, click, click. Answers, comments and insights are all too quickly scanned and then, click! It’s time to move on. Click, click, click! Lost in all this clicking is the continuity of real connection, of traditions that hold a family together. These take too much time. These take too much energy. It is too hard, too difficult, too much, too many. Grandma’s recipes are long forgotten. Ancestry is all but a memory and the children being born today are losing the connection to their family roots. So, how do you reconnect meaningfully with your family, your ancestors, yourself? Create new traditions. Start a model of connection that can last for generations to come and base them on the one tie that binds us all together; love. It is a process that can start here, now, today, and it begins with acceptance.
Step One: Acceptance
Life moves fast in these modern times. The speed of life has increased in one generation more than it has in the last five. Relationships are being lost between the busy kids’ schedules, work, school and the distance of time. People are able to move far away from their families now more than ever. Few come home for the holidays; some have no home to come back to. It is possible Christmas dinner last year was you and your spouse and a few phone calls. It is a different world. It is a different life. You have a choice, wallow in the pity of times gone by or accept it, go with the flow and move on.
If no one is coming to your place for Thanksgiving and there are no other plans, then maybe it’s time you take that vacation to the Poconos you’ve always longed to do. Maybe you go to someone else’s house and let them cook for you. Maybe you invite friends over and this year have a friend holiday. Accepting what is and letting go of what was can move us into the possibilities of what can be.
Times that were before can be cherished, but as times change, we must move with them or risk being left behind. The older we get the more set in our ways we can become. Life, however, will continue to change, whether we like it or not and life now changes faster than ever. So whatever you choose, know that it will change too! Life is too short to wallow in what was or what could have been. It’s time to accept life on life’s terms, a life that is ever changing, ever new. To let go of the old and move into acceptance, one must grieve the loss of traditions and the ideas of what could have been. That leads us to Step Two.
Step Two: Grieve and Let Go of Lost Traditions
The simple truth is that possessions no longer hold the sentimentality they once did. Dresses, furniture and recipes were handed down one generation after another. Each was lovingly cared for and crafted by hand. That has changed with the advent of technology, the access of Google and items made cheaply from China. The world has become overrun with things. If you want to find a recipe for banana bread, you no longer call your mother or ask for grandmother’s cookbook. You Google it. If you get married, you no longer receive passed down furniture from your parents or grandparents. You register and get new furniture.
It is a rapidly changing time and in order to start new traditions, one must grieve letting go of the old and accept that change is here to stay. Maybe that hope chest is not seen as a way to connect to the history of the past anymore, but now thanks to modern medicine, Grandpa is living into his 90’s fully alert and yes, you can talk to him in person, or by phone, no long distance charges apply. Maybe gifts are not hand made or appreciated like they used to be, but the joy of pinning together? That’s a new art in and of itself. Maybe you won’t live next to your brother or sister and raise your kids together, having Sunday dinners at your Mother’s, but there are long phone calls over Facetime on those evenings when dinners were held.
There are only so many days where one can sit at the empty table at the holidays before the urge to create new traditions begins. Traditions are all about connecting to each other. They are a regular excuse to be with each other that only you and your family share. It is as unique as you are. As the world changes, families and people change too. Grieve the loss of the old, but do not get stuck sitting at an empty table for too long. Feel the sadness, the anger and the loneliness, talk about it and then get ready to heal and move on. There are many new ways to connect and create new traditions in this ever changing world. Grieve and let go and then you will be ready for Step 3- Inventing New Traditions.
Step 3: Inventing New Traditions
Look around you. Where does your family live? Where do they congregate? What do they love to do? What is it that defines your family? Do you love the same movies? Do you share the same hobbies? What about a place or time that is special just to you? Get creative in inventing new traditions. As times change, children, people and lives change. It’s okay to have traditions change too. Creating new ones will actually help children learn how to deal with change in a grounded and centered way.
Family is at the heart of the connection to the self. What makes your family unique? What makes your family special? What is it you all have in common? There are many ways to reconnect in this ever changing world. Use the tools of now to create the new traditions! Skype a holiday call. Do a group conference call! Send postcards from places you have visited in the summer. Have Grandma’s recipes made into a book and make the recipe together or virtually by video or speaker phone. Post the photos onto a family Facebook page! Text back and forth as you cook together.
Songs, cooking, humor, football, hockey, outdoor fun, movies, the beach, whatever it is that you share a love of, share it together! It just might have to be a bit more creative and take more initiative on your part to create this new tradition time, but it is possible. There are many possibilities within the realm of what is now! Use what you have on hand. Use what and where people are now. Let go of the past and create a new way to connect and share your lives with each other!
Not every holiday has to be a family holiday. Maybe your new tradition happens on a Tuesday in June or a Thursday night once a month. Maybe you start a book club with the cousins or road trip once a year to a random location on the map with your sisters. Traditions are sacred and special to each individual family and between family members. They are a way to connect without the outside world dictating convention or method. Think outside the box. Create treasure scavenger hunts, go on a family vacation to the land of your ancestors or create a scrapbook of your life before the kids were born and add them one by one to your story.
The traditions of old might be gone, but creating a foundation of love that connects you is something that can live forever. Be flexible! Get creative! Be unique. Together you can. Whether you are a mom with two kids or a grandparent with twenty-seven grandkids or an aunt or a sister or a brother, you can be the one to initiate the start of a new tradition that can be created anew to keep the connection of family alive. No matter if you are two years old or ninety two, the tie that binds us all together is love and that is a tradition worth passing down.
In Clear Conscience. All our love.
~W~ Jeannine Proulx
Jeannine Proulx is an Intuitive Life Coach who helps spiritual people ready for the next step on their journey connect with the deepest parts of themselves, getting them from where they are to where they want to be and in doing so create a life full of possibility. She is living her talk, loving her beaches and walks in the sun and would love to guide you to your land of your dreams come true! You can find more about her at: www.jeannineproulx.com.
The WORLD Collective Consciousness
The WORLD Collective Consciousness is the combined voices of all the people, creatures, nations, energies, thoughts and possible realities that this wonder of a world has created and will create. Everyone has a Collective of who they are mind, body, spirit, subconscious; lives lived; people loved, spirit connections, guides and energies. That is us as individuals. The WORLD Collective Consciousness is us as a whole. They speak with one voice, a sense of humor and a practical way of showing us all the possibilities we have available to us at any moment. They are more than thrilled to now be a part of the conversation in the spiritual community and eventually in the world itself. It is their time to talk and Jeannine Proulx’s honor to write with them. May you enjoy the insights revealed, and the stories shared as the WORLD brings to life its secrets.
*WORLD = Wide Open Reality Alive with Dimension
