Belle approached me to write the feature article for Bellesprit for December. I agreed to do it thinking about the time constraints I would be under, but when I heard the article’s subject was a person called The Scary Guy I thought this was a paranormal feature. When I started to do the tentative research on the man I will admit that my first thought was that she was getting back at me for the ribbing we had been giving her about an event that happened on her radio show that involved a broadcasting button that made her voice sound like it was coming from the grand land of Oz.  This man, with his startling looks, actually made me think he might have been a former wrestler with the World Wrestling Federation with his face laden in tattoos’ and piercings, and his Mohawk and facial hair often dyed blonde, red or blue, it wasn’t a far assumption to deduce.  I must admit though as the saying goes, “never judge a book by its cover.” when I began to read his bio and understand and delve into this man’s mission in life I began to see beyond the tattoo’s and his other distracting features and understand that this man’s story goes far beyond assumptions of a simple man like myself.

In this world we seem to have a nasty habit of nurturing our kids in the concepts and actions of hate. Bear in mind I don’t think we inherently realize this fact and I also realize that there may be many who pass over this column with this statement. But I beg you to hear me out and hear the story I am about to tell about a man who has dedicated his life to stop an epidemic that has reigned over this world for so long that it has become the norm for many of us living in the world today. It may seem to you to be a minor issue if you are called a name, accused of being something you are not, or being hazed or embarrassed by one or more of your peers because you are different or have a condition you can’t control. I mean we grow up with things like this happening to us all the time, right? For most, we as adults might laugh it off and say things like “that’s just what was done at that age, or in that place, with that group” etc.  If this is the case then we must ask ourselves why, if these actions are so benign, that young people and adults around this world are dying (whether from suicide or murder) due to words and gestures brought upon them by others?

The man I am speaking of will do just that. At a certain time in his life he had this same question put to him, and his actions on that day began a personal mission to rid this world of the one word and emotion that has no place in our lives…that word and emotion is “hate.”  He has spoken around the world to children, young adults, and adults alike on the effects that hate brings upon our society and the reason it needs to be eradicated. He has helped school boards, police departments and other agencies adapt programs to stop the progress of bulling and other mechanisms of hate in their cities and towns giving them the tools to help the next generation break this cycle.  With titles bestowed upon him by these agencies he has been dubbed The New Face of Love and The Urban Dali Lama. I hope that “THIS IS YOUR WAKE-UP CALL!”  A quote by the man I introduce to you now………The Scary Guy.

Scary is an ex-tattoo artist whose given name is Earl Kenneth Kaufman and calls himself “The only social living experiment on the planet.” His observations began early in life when attending school himself as he told me when I had an opportunity to sit down with him. “Back when I went to school it wasn’t like it is today. You really only had one bully in a school” he said. “If I asked if you were tough and you said yes there was a fight after school; if you said no, I moved on.  It’s not like today with all the verbal and mental terrorizing that appears to happen especially in many of the High Schools today.”  

Looking at Scary you are probably thinking that he was that bully in school, but you would be incorrect. Many of those negative and hateful traits and habits were picked up later in his life. Most were not observed and learned by him until he the age of 19 years old when he became active in the workforce. Scary stated to me, “I was working in the metal and sheet metal business and watched my co-workers and the way they acted with all the name calling and actions and that’s really where my career as a bully began.” while learning these traits from co-workers and other adults Scary never really looked at himself as a “bad guy” so to speak, as I believe many of us would. “I really didn’t think I was a bad guy. I always looked at myself as a good guy and blamed my hateful actions on everybody else, but when you think about it, blaming everything on human nature is, as far as I’m concerned, a copout.”

Scary’s life changing epiphany came when he was a tattoo artist in Arizona with a set of events that brought him to his true path which he follows today.  During this time a rival tattoo artist had begun placing articles in the local paper saying things like “Are you tired of “Scary Guy’s” in war paint?” and other negative phrases to try to attract business to his and away from Scary’s then three tattoo shops in the area. Scary had a simple and effective way, as he told me, to take care of the issue of the rival tattoo shop, “I thought about it and said to myself, ok I’ll just run some negative ad’s against him and run his dog over with my hot rod Lincoln and there you go.” Scary thankfully didn’t do this but it started him thinking about how as a human being he was treating other people as a whole realizing he may not be the nice guy he always believed himself to be, “I had to take a long hard look at myself in the mirror,” he stated “and ask myself how people were going to remember me.”

It was during this time frame that Scary became Scary so to speak. A friend said to him that he should legally change his name from his given name to The Scary Guy.  When he discovered that this could be done he began the procedure of changing his name and in 1998 he officially became The Scary Guy.  After the name change Scary gained a lot of attention from people in general and the media of course because of his new name. It also gave him the opportunity to start getting his message out to the public to stop society from teaching of hate. It was in reading so many different articles about hate crimes that he began seeing the plight of so many kids in school who are the victims of the physical and mental abuses of bullying. “I was shocked to see the same things I was seeing as an adult happening in our schools to these kids,” Scary said.  Due to his new found media attention Scary was asked by a local teacher at Rincon High School to come in and talk to the kids about his life and tell them his message, “I talked for about an hour about my life and how I came about changing it and the room was silent.” Scary said, “Later that night at home realizing my message had gotten through I started to think to myself this could work.” 

Since his wake up call and the discovery of his mission in Arizona, Scary has talked to Children of all ages and adults in the United States and around the world. His mind awakening message and custom designed programs help not just schools but also police departments, corporations, and Governments of all sizes. During our time together I asked Scary how long it took for the shock of his look to diminish and the viewing of the man underneath to begin. He replied, “I can usually turn a room in about fifteen minutes or so give or take to stop seeing the tattoos and start to see the man within.” Scary continued and then said something that was surprising, “It is usually not the five year old that is ever scared, the ones that usually are shocked are the parents of the five year old.” 

Another topic I brought up was the subject of where the more important mission lies; in changing the kids or changing the adults who teach them.  Scary’s answer to me at first was a little surprising but also very realistic. His view is that the parents are the more important audience. From his viewpoint, all actions and behaviors are learned or nurtured from the people who help raise the children, who will then grow to be the nurturers of our next generation, “I have never seen a newborn baby yet who was born bad.”

The topic of our conversation then turned to the subject of social media and the effect it has had on the way bully’s apply abuse to their victims. Again his answer, although shocking probably to some, made a lot of sense when looked at as his logic falls in the same light as another hot button issue does. “I don’t look at social media as being responsible for bullying; I just think it’s a tool that can be used by a bully to spread their hate.” He continued to explain it in the same light as a firearm. A gun is only a tool like any tool on a toolbox that has never just stood up on its own and fired by itself, it takes a person behind that tool pulling a trigger to cause the desired effect that individual wants.

Often times we look for the easy method or “stop gap” to end the many acts of hate we see every day. We don’t realize that the one place we need to ultimately look at to help end the epidemic of hate in society is…ourselves.

 The most impacting part of Scary’s mission is to issue the 7 day, 7 night challenge to all the members of his audience.  It’s used in a way to bring to light how much we use hateful words and actions in our everyday lives. The idea of the 7 day, 7 night challenge is simple, yet in the same light a very difficult task to accomplish. Scary challenges society to not say a hateful name or word at or against someone for a full 7 days and 7 nights. The concept came to him during his transformation in Arizona as he explains, “I set myself on a challenge to go a day without saying or acting negative,” scary stated. “When I saw I could do it for a day I tried for another and another and I have since been challenging myself in the same way for fifteen years.” He stated to me that he has not yet found a person who can accomplish the 7 day, 7 night challenge as he has never met the perfect human being.  I encourage all of you to take Scary’s challenge and see how long you can accomplish 7 days and 7 nights of no hateful thoughts or actions. I can tell you from personal experience when I tried the challenge I lasted but a mere one hour and 30 minutes and realized how deep in my wiring this behavior is in me. I wonder what you will learn about you.

Scary’s message is one that is changing the world for everyone he reaches within his mission. His goal is to spread the tools of what he has learned in his life. We must be the ones to enact what he has taught us to help break the cycle of bullying and hate in our society today. In my two hours with Scary for the first time I found myself telling my story of being a victim of multiple bullies in my youth because I was different than all the other kids. I was quiet and wouldn’t fight back so in turn I was tortured by a certain group that found enjoyment in torturing another person that they could inflict their hate on.  In that time I was nearly maimed paralyzed and brought to a point where I nearly took my own life, and in fact nearly took another if I hadn’t been stopped. I can say though for the first time in my life I can forgive the tormenters of my youth due to something that Scary said to me during our talk. He remarked, the hate they spread on me was in fact there’s all along and with their actions upon me I lived my life in their energy which has affected me my whole life.  Now, with Scary’s help, in just those few hours and my own reflection of his words, I can say I don’t live in that shadow anymore due to the fact that I refuse to live in the energy they transferred to me one more day.  I promised Scary that I will become an ambassador of his mission and aid in the abolishment of hate in our world.

I hope that in reading this article you will look into yourselves and also request that your school district bring The Scary Guy to your schools. His mission is one that cannot be ignored as society cannot allow another human being to be lost to the whims of hate and bullying.

I hope, as I did, you will find your wakeup call and help Scary end the hate.

You can find more of Scary’s mission and story at his website www.thescaryguy.com.

You can also find him on facebook at www.facebook.com/thescaryguyfanpage?ref=ts&fref=ts .

To learn more about Scary’s story you can view this video on his Facebook Page: www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=359590804995&set=vb.91381948196&type=3&theater