There is some madness in love; but there is also always some reason in madness.
Friedrich Nietzsche coined that phrase.
Falling in love is a kind of madness that can be sweet in its temptation and harsh in its intoxication. It is a journey that can sever our relationship to reality while also giving us a renewed purpose in life. Riding the wave of this sweltering feeling can result in a happy ending when two people stop only staring at each other and start to look ahead together or a dispassionate one when burbling hormones give way to in-your-face veracity.
But it is more than just an emotional experience all of us crave. Some researchers have even compared being in love to a cocaine high. They have a point. Love changes us in fundamental ways. Think of when you were last lost in a lovelorn frenzy; it was the time when the heart-spewing emoji became both your closest friend and your most hated absentee when it was not adequately distributed.
As with many things in life, love goes through different stages.
At first, we experience the almost drug-induced high that the mere thought of that cherished other can invoke. It is a period that equals supreme mutual physical attraction that does not end in the bedroom. William Shakespeare once said that ‘Love is blind’ and he was right. When a person is in love, they do not see anything that resembles reality.
As being in love progresses, it enters a period of ever-growing stability and mutual affection and respect. During this phase, many of us drop out because those things we found so endearing in the other person upon the onset of the voyage are no longer as enticing. For those of us who make it through, a life-long bond is created that impacts our destiny most magically. It is when you wholeheartedly love someone with both the good and the bad while you also are in love with them like on the very first day.
Does all of that affect the way we sleep?
Oh yes! What really happens is quite interesting. For better understanding, we will look at love in the three stages that were touched upon before. They consist of falling in love, looking ahead together, and ultimately being in love for the long haul.
- Falling in love
Falling in love is like being hit by a herd of rampaging elephants. It happens fast, and you do not know what’s hit you. The feeling alternates between spells of heady exuberance and collapse into valleys of despair as the emotional tug-of-war takes you to new heights and troughs. At times, you cannot wipe that smile off of your face when the mere hint of an ‘I love you’ is added to the text message or conversation. Your body is experiencing all kinds of reactions that – yeah, how unromantic – can be explained biologically.
And boy! Are you into that other person! You never knew you had such physical reserves like when you are lying naked in bed together. Appetite is reduced, your figure improves, and you have this narcotic aversion to sleep. In short, you just don’t need as much sleep as you did before. It is a normal development that is not unhealthy. It’s like you are sharing the other person’s energy and when you do get tired, you fall into blissful slumber without a care in the world.
- Looking ahead together
This is the most crucial part. And let’s be frank here, not many people get past this stage. At this point, you might have moved in together, and yep, you had the same taste when it came to interior design, and if you didn’t, you created it. You still hold each other before falling asleep, and when it comes, sleep is blissful because of how safe and loved you feel.
You no longer stay up until the early hours talking because life’s responsibilities have finally caught up with you. And yes, you got it! Routine has set in. It is excellent for quality sleep, but it can be detrimental to love if you don’t do anything to spice things up every so often.
In short, this can be a period of great shut-eye, and also very little when love wanes, and you go your separate ways.
- Being in love for the long haul
This is the pinnacle of human relationships. You have found your significant other, and you respect that person just as much as you love them. You are in a stable relationship and more likely than not good sleep will be a constant. However, if not, you might need to employ some sleep hacks or get a new mattress in order to get back to counting those quality ZZZ’s.
