Many traumatic, painful and life changing events have happened in my life over the past 2 years.  I divorced after an 8 year marriage, moved 2 times, and the last move was to be closer to my Mom, who has recently been diagnosed with cancer.  On top of it all, I was in a very beautiful relationship, one which gave me much excitement and lots of love…that, too, had also failed.

I found myself laying on the couch feeling completely alone and helpless.  Beating myself up, wondering what I had done to create this mess.  I was so angry and shut off from the world, with no real desire to go outside, to meet anyone new, or to move, for that matter.  I felt stuck, and stagnant.  How would I pick myself up and get out of this rut.  How was I going to feel love in my heart again? I found it hard to care.  I was in a real slump.

Then I realized how selfish I was being, how I was playing the role of the victim.  I asked myself where this victim mentality would get me. Nowhere fast.  I did not want to be an energy drain and rely on others to feel bad or take care of me.  I had to find a way to pick myself up and to keep on going and take responsibility for my life and to be strong.  Life happens to all of us.  Unfortunate circumstances and painful lessons occur every day.  I realized I could let everything that has happened to me bring me down, or I could use it as a tool to live a more loving, meaningful and compassionate life.

Then, I took the focus off of me and my mess, and I started thinking about those I Love.  I started thinking about my Mom and how it must feel to wake up every morning knowing you may not be here much longer, and my heart started opening and feeling compassion and love.  I started thinking of my Dad, who spends most of his waking moments in pain, and lives many sleepless and uncomfortable nights, my heart started opening even more.  I started thinking of families who wonder how they will get their next meal and then I started feeling grateful for all that I have, for my children, for my comfortable home, and for my loving friends.  Tears of gratitude poured down my face as I realized just how lucky I am, and how blessed I am to have all that I do.  This gratitude also had me asking how I can help.

I realized that when we spend too much time focusing on ourselves and our problems, it only gets us deeper into a rut. Of course, it is necessary to honor yourself, but like everything in life, it is about balance.  So, I am setting an intention to cultivate compassion.  To be mindful of others, to slow down long enough and take myself out of the web of my own mind and to be present to see others, feel what they are going through, and to be compassionate. 

It is through this compassion you are liberated and pulled out of isolation because you realize you are not alone.  We are in this together, each of us is suffering and struggling in our own ways, trying our best.  There are times when you lend a hand, and times when others give you a hand.  This is what makes our connection to each other so special and so important.  We belong to each other.

Visit my new website dedicated to cultivating compassion at www.heartfeltcompassion.com.