Learning to love ourselves or focus on all the things that we are grateful for can sometimes be challenging in the midst of our busy lives, but if you want to feel more at peace with yourself then this is truly the fastest route to doing so.

Many of us have been brought up with handed down beliefs we accepted as truth which is that it is selfish to want too much or to love ourselves; but we are all fully deserving and worthy of having all the joy, happiness and abundance the universe has to offer without having to do anything to earn it.  There is more than enough for everyone, there really are no limits except the ones we put on ourselves through our fears and judgements about how deserving or worthy we are of having the things we want and feeling good about ourselves.  We all deserve to be happy just as we are.

The universe is constantly responding to the thoughts, beliefs and feelings that we give out.  If you wish for a high paying job, but then start thinking that there are probably other people more qualified than you, or doubting your abilities, then you are de-valuing yourself and those thoughts go out to the universe too. The universe will faithfully respond by bringing you what you’ve ordered, unsuccessful interviews or rejection letters that reflect the doubting thoughts you have had about yourself.  If you are struggling financially, it can seem overwhelming and all your focus is on how much you don’t have, this can become a vicious circle as you think, feel and believe this; the universal law of attraction magnetizes more of the same to you.

So how can this be changed? How can you start to really become happier with yourself and create the things you want in your life? The answer is simple, but can take some practice to begin with.

First, it means making the decision to become your own biggest supporter by giving yourself the love, support and appreciation that you truly deserve because you are the only one of you in the whole universe and that is quite amazing to begin with.  So many people I know are immensely kind, supportive and encouraging of others, but speak to themselves in hard, judgmental ways as part of their normal daily life.  How can you ever hope to feel good about yourself or attract anything positive to yourself if you are always hard on yourself?  Think about any friend that you know and ask yourself how you would be with them and speak to them if they were feeling a bit down or doubting themselves.  Usually you would be encouraging and supportive and point out all of their positive qualities and efforts to help them see the situation and themselves better.  So why don’t we do that for ourselves? Anyone who is constantly put down and criticized will feel heavy and bad about themselves, and anyone who is constantly encouraged and supported will feel good about themselves and develop confidence, feeling more peaceful and joyful inside.  And then because this is what you are sending out into the universe in the way of thoughts and feelings, this in turn will be reflected back by opportunities to be more joyful, social occasions, jobs that suit your talents and personality, etc.

So how do you start to become your best supporter?  After you make that commitment to start appreciating yourself, spend a few days just being aware of your thoughts when you’re going about your day.  Awareness is the first key to change. You can’t change anything unless you’re aware exactly what you need to change.  How do you speak to yourself in your mind? What sort of things do you say to yourself throughout the day? What tone do you use with yourself? Next ask yourself are these encouraging, supportive words? Or are they critical or doubting? Ask yourself would you speak to a friend like that? How would that friend feel if you spoke to them like that?

Then over the coming days and weeks, start to change the way you speak to yourself to be more supporting and encouraging, speak to yourself as if you were a best friend.  As you catch yourself starting to speak to yourself in the old way, STOP and change it to something more positive you would say to a friend.  If you are feeling down, reassure yourself that you’ll be fine.  Tell yourself you deserve to be happy and loved and then give yourself that love. With practice this will become a new habit if you are committed to it.  If your mind tells you this new way of speaking to yourself is stupid, selfish or what’s the point, just know that your old limiting thoughts are being challenged; stick with it and they will soon give up.  Next go and buy yourself a notebook and write in the front ‘My Self-appreciation Book.’  Keep it somewhere where you will use it every day and not forget it, maybe by your bed.  Start by writing 3 things you appreciate about yourself; these can be big or very little, it doesn’t matter, they all count.  Then continue to write 3 more things every day, forever.  When you are having hard times, you can go back to your book and read back over all the amazing and lovely little things about yourself.

As you focus on appreciating yourself you will start to feel lighter, happier and more at peace with yourself without feeling the need to change and start to realize that you truly deserve to be happy just as you are.  As you become more relaxed and accepting of yourself, you will start to notice that others are more accepting of you and people will start to respond to you in a more positive way.  This allows you the freedom to feel truly at peace and better about and within yourself than you have ever felt before.  Why not start today?