Whether you practice an organized religion or not, chances are you celebrate a holiday, or several holidays, during the time between Thanksgiving and the end of the year.
By Rebecca Nidey
Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House
According to the music of that season, the holidays are the happiest time of the year. Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, St. Nicholas Day, Bodhi, Eid-Al-Adha, St. Lucia Day, Los Posadas, Boxing Day, Junkanoo, Hogmanay, Winter Solstice, Christmas, New Year……every culture seems to have a holiday during this time period.
With every joy there is sorrow. Who among us hasn’t had at least a few moments of sadness during any holiday? I can’t think of anyone who has not contemplated the empty space in their hearts and around the table during gatherings and celebrations. What do we do during celebrations ….we share food, memories, laughter, music, and love. When your favorite aunt passes, what better way to honor her memory than by preparing the dish she always brought to the family carry-in. Whether the dish falls a little short the first few times, or you nail it the first time-sharing, this food that was a part of the past is keeping alive the love you shared with your family.
We listen to music while we drive, work, or rest and might hear a certain song. It triggers a memory of your Dad’s off key rendition of that song every year as you all decorated the tree and the groans and laughter it elicited and sets off a longing to see him one more time. Even a marathon of your family’s favorite holiday movie or show on the television can bring a stir of memories along with a mixture of tears and smiles. Watching a rerun of “A Charlie Brown Christmas” can make a tide of memories wash over you of your best childhood friend who has passed into spirit. A showing of “It’s A Wonderful Life” can remind you of the comfort you felt while sitting on your Grandma’s lap while the two of you watched it. These memories can be like warm hugs from those who have left us in body.
If you have read any of my previous columns you will know that I have worked in a hospital for close to forty years. The staff of a hospital or nursing home, fire or ambulance department, law enforcement agency, or any branch of the armed forces may have to celebrate a holiday while working. Please forgive me if it seems I have left any other form of service workers out, you are all wonderful and I thank you for your unselfish service. Members of this group of the work force know that their services must be available twenty four hours a day every day of the year. They often see the sadder side of a holiday. Violence, illness, and death do not stop simply because the calendar says it is a time to celebrate. Not only do these wonderful and dedicated people deal with their own sorrows during the holiday season, they must contend with the grief and sadness of those they serve. The patients, residents and victims must also struggle with both the pain of body and of spirit during what is considered some of the most joyful times of the year.
Grief doesn’t really have a season. It is felt every day of the year. Although it can become more bearable with the passage of time, it may take only a small, simple incident to trigger the pain again. This is especially true during the holiday season when the loss of those we love is felt more strongly. Their absence is more apparent than ever.
There are ways to bring the joy back when we start letting the sorrow darken those days. We can literally and figuratively light a candle to illuminate the dark spots in our spirits where grief dwells. When you take out your Mother’s best set of china for the Christmas meal, remember her pride when she told you that it had belonged to her mother and would someday be yours.
As you put up the tree or menorah, tell your children the stories of how your family gathered to decorate the tree and explain the meaning of all the items proudly displayed. The younger members of your circle of love, whether by blood or of the heart, may not have known those you are grieving over. Tell the young ones and remind the older ones about those who have passed into spirit. Eventually the pain will lessen as the loving memories emerge. Remember and honor old traditions by observing and teaching those who are close to you and create your own new traditions along the way as well. These create a bond that death cannot break. Even if you do not believe that the spirit lives on after the death of the body, you can recognize that sharing the happy and loving memories of those who have left the circle keeps them alive in your heart.
You are probably wondering what all of these thoughts have to do with paranormal investigation groups. Those of us who are paranormal researchers deal with both the dead and the living. It is very hard to prove and somewhat simpler to disprove the existence of ghostly spirits. From personal experience, I believe that those who have passed into spirit can visit us. Is it so hard to fathom that they too might want to enjoy a celebration with us? There might be a slight misting in the corner of a family picture taken at the party. Wasn’t that where Grandpa always stood when the picture was taken in the past? As you are thinking of that special friend, do you catch a whiff of their favorite cologne? Maybe, just maybe, you feel a warm breeze in passing that almost felt like a hug.
I find it very easy to entertain the thought that those we care about will join in the celebrations with us, in spirit, if not body. Many places my group has investigated for possible hauntings are the sites of family oriented occasions. They are places where people gather to share caring and sorrow; churches, schools, hospitals, family homes.
Whether you are convinced those who have left us in body are still alive in spirit and may linger, or are only alive in our memories and hearts, there is the candle of memory that can light a way out of the darkness of grief. I challenge you all to honor both the living and the dead during this holiday season and throughout the year. I would like to dedicate this column to not only all those who left us this past year, but all of those brave and loving souls who are left behind to grieve and remember.
About the Author:
Through her work on the investigative team for the Crawford County Illinois Ghost Hunters, Rebecca Nidey has an understanding of the paranormal, spiritual, and metaphysical worlds and how they work together.
Rebecca has trained in the Healing Touch technique (a form of energy healing). She is a certified Psychic Medium trained by Belle Salisbury, and she is a certified Paranormal Researcher.
Rebecca is the associate editor for Bellesprit Magazine and also writes a column titled Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House. She has been a co-host of several radio programs for the Haunted Voices Radio Network and HeyZ Radio Network highlighting the Paranormal, metaphysical and literary fields.
To learn more about Rebecca or to schedule a reading you can contact her at https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.nidey.
