This past Friday, I attended a graveside service for one of my former employees.
By Rebecca Nidey
Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House
It was held in an old country cemetery with the original church on the grounds still in use. While waiting for the service to start, I was reminded of how much I love cemeteries. Now, I know that statement is going to give some of the readers pause for thought here as you wonder if I am some kind of a macabre person who delights in death. Let me assure you that this is far from the truth, rather, cemeteries are a record and celebration of life.
Since I was small, I have been drawn to cemeteries. The stones were fascinating to me with all their messages and symbols. Why were there so many different sizes and shapes, while some had elaborate messages and others only had a name and date? When I joined a paranormal investigation group we visited cemeteries often. The founder of my group had documented the location of most of the cemeteries in the county we live in and several surrounding counties. Many of them were extremely old or small family cemeteries containing only a few graves.
As we do most of our investigations at night, I could not always explore all of the stones to seek out the mysteries they held, so I started taking daytime ‘cemetery hops.’ In one tiny country cemetery alone I found the grave of the only woman hung in Illinois who was buried beside the husband she murdered, a couple who swam the Wabash River to escape a Shaker colony in order to marry in Illinois, and the owner of the inn where Abraham Lincoln’s family stayed when they moved from Indiana to Illinois. Then there was the more poignant area I called ‘the nursery’ where the majority of graves were children, some not even named, and the simple hand carved (most probably by the hands of their father)wooden monument for stillborn twins. Think of all the hopes, dreams, losses and stories that were contained in this one small and isolated plot of land.
It was inevitable that I would find the graves of some of my family throughout the area, even discovering some I was not aware of in my family tree. There was the circuit riding minister who was buried in another tiny cemetery. When two of my nieces married in different area churches, I discovered plaques in them dedicated to him as he had helped start these churches, as well as riding by horseback to perform services wherever needed. In another family cemetery, I found the graves of a several times over great uncle who fought in the civil war and was buried with his three wives. I often wondered, if they hung around as ghostly spirits, if there wasn’t another type of war going on as to who should have been buried closest to him. Cemeteries can strengthen our knowledge and even pride in our ancestors, as well as giving us more understanding of them.
In many of the cemeteries, I found stones in odd shapes or containing symbols I didn’t recognize. Many were extremely old, but some were more recent. Through research, I found several books that explained these mysteries. What I first thought were just beautiful and sometimes intricate carvings to decorate a final resting place, actually had meaning.
The more sadly obvious were the many tiny cherub and lamb shaped stones for children. But, I also found regular stones with a simple rosebud carved on them symbolizing a life cut short. In too many cemeteries I have found the memorial stones of parents surrounded by the small stones of the many children they lost at birth up through their teens and young adulthood. The sorrow is almost palpable when you stand in those areas. As I mentioned earlier, the paranormal group I belong to often do night investigations in area cemeteries that do not have the usual dusk to dawn prohibitions for visiting. Because I have some abilities while visiting these cemeteries, I have heard the cries of babies, and children singing “Ring Around the Rosie,” and at one very old grave……the sound of a young woman crying for her baby. As I shone my flashlight on the stone, I saw the heartbreaking story. The baby had died one day before her Mama. A stone shaped like a broken column usually meant a life cut short. The opposite, a long and fruitful life was often shown with a sheaf of wheat.
Some of the more beautiful carvings were symbolic of faith and love. The journey from life to the afterlife was often depicted by a gate, or as a veil or curtain, sometimes draped over an urn. A snake creating a circle by biting its tail was a sign of eternal life. A hand carved with the index finger pointing up indicated a soul that had risen to heaven. An open book is fairly common and is often used to register the information of the deceased, but could also indicate the Bible. A closed book indicated the life story has reached its end. A stone with the carving of a dove indicated purity and peace. Grape clusters symbolized the Eucharist wine used in communion. Clasped hands have an even more intricate meaning depending on the details. If the sleeves of the hands were gender neutral, they could symbolize an earthly farewell or a heavenly welcome. On the stones shared by a married couple, the grasped hands will have one feminine and one masculine sleeve. Oak leaves on most graves are considered a sign of the power of the Christian faith, but those same faithful would be shocked to find that it was originally a Pagan symbol.
Then there are the many stones containing the representations of different organizations. Just as many of the organizations may have secret symbols or passwords, so do the stones of members of those groups. There are numerous groups that have long been out of existence, but many are ancient like the Freemasons, or more relatively modern like the Elks, Eagles, Odd Fellows, Moose, and Woodsmen of the World, plus their female auxiliaries. Veterans often have a symbol for the branch they served in or the American Legion symbol on their stones. Often the stones themselves were provided by the government and are easily recognizable by their stark simplicity.
You might be asking yourself why I am talking about cemeteries in a paranormal column since many paranormal investigators do not believe that cemeteries are haunted. I will say from experience that my group has run across many that do have their fair share of activity. The age or era of the cemetery seems to have no significance. We have been to a local pioneer cemetery that is very quiet, but one person taking a cell phone picture was surprised to find a full body apparition standing by a stone. Other more modern cemeteries seem to be hopping with activity some nights and even during the daylight hours. There are many Native American mounds in the area and since quite a few of the cemeteries were started on higher ground, it is a possibility that some of them were actually sacred and consecrated by several religions, both ancient and more recent. Some may have been started close to running water, such as a stream or river, which is a possible amplifier for activity. Another factor could be the earth below the cemeteries, as some stone such as limestone, is also considered as a conductor of activity.
The final point I would like to make is everyone we meet has hopes, dreams, sorrows, losses and details of their life that often go unnoticed. Some of those have passed from existence long before we were born, so the only way we will learn some of their story is by looking at the only records left of those lives… the monuments over their graves… those stories in stone. For those people we are lucky enough to still have in our lives, we should make a special point of learning their stories before they leave our lives. When visiting cemeteries, please be respectful of the rules and regulations of the area and of this final home of those who were once in body and now are in spirit.
About the Author:
Through her work on the investigative team for the Crawford County Illinois Ghost Hunters, Rebecca Nidey has an understanding of the paranormal, spiritual, and metaphysical worlds and how they work together.
Rebecca has trained in the Healing Touch technique (a form of energy healing). She is a certified Psychic Medium trained by Belle Salisbury, and she is a certified Paranormal Researcher.
Rebecca is the associate editor for Bellesprit Magazine and also writes a column titled Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Haunted House. She has been a co-host of several radio programs for the Haunted Voices Radio Network and HeyZ Radio Network highlighting the Paranormal, metaphysical and literary fields.
To learn more about Rebecca or to schedule a reading you can contact her at https://www.facebook.com/rebecca.nidey.
