I am writing this article on Friday September 13th, a month prior to my 55th birthday. Hard for the college aged young woman who had just completed a 10 day journey into the wild via Outward Bound to contemplate what her life would be like 23 years hence. Even though she had a vivid imagination, she had no clue what was in store for her. Love, loss, challenges, creative flow, as well as opportunities to meet, interview and write about movers and shakers and to become one herself. At this moment, my head is filled with all sorts of images vying for my attention, calling in their cacophonous voices; offering guidance for my next steps. Sometimes the ride is fun and it feels as if I should have my hands in the air, shouting ‘whhhheeeeee!’ on the upward and downward roller coaster journey. Other times, it is terrifying as I plunge into a darkened cavernous water slide, knowing that I will eventually splash down safely, but in the midst, have my doubts. I call it ‘spiritual amnesia’; this forgetting that everything is alright and that the Highest Good always prevails. Over and over, I am called to remember that in a celestial voice that inquires “Have I ever dropped you? Has anything that you have desired ever NOT turned out in the best possible way, even if you didn’t think so at the time?” I always have to sigh and agree, even if my ego-infused monkey mind might chatter away in discord.
When I was a child, 55 felt reaaaallllly old. My parents were 34 when I was born, so by the time they were 55, I was nearly the age of that woman described in the previous paragraph whose long locks cascaded down her back and she had her entire adult life ahead of her. Now as I gaze backward in the rear view mirror, I see steps and turns I wished I hadn’t taken, relationships that I would have liked to have been differently engaged, career paths that I might have taken. All of the things would likely have landed me somewhere other than where my feet are planted now….or maybe not.
I was having a conversation with a friend last night, whose psychic abilities and guidance astound me. We were pondering whether some things are meant to be and others happened at random. My contention is that we do have free will and some interactions feel ‘beshert’ (Yiddish for ‘meant to be’) as when we meet someone who feels like home to us. I have been blessed to have attracted many sweet souls who fit that description; my kindred spirit, anam cara, members of the tribe of overlapping soul circles. Last year, for my 54th, many of them gathered to celebrate with me and one of my friends recorded a video by walking around my house collecting messages of love. When I feel a bit bummed if things aren’t going according to my plan, I watch it and it lifts my sagging spirits. Believe it or not, even one who calls herself Bliss Mistress sometimes has ‘da blues. Tough to admit at times, since I have always been the cheerer upper-er who plastered a smile on her face to make things look easier than they were and also because I pride myself on being the queen of reframe who can see things from all angles. Lately, I have been present to my emotions, the snottily tear-filled moments and the jumping for joy instants. Raw and sensitive, I have been spending more time in solitude, contemplating how I would like the next year to be.
As you approach your birthday, I invite you to do this exercise with me.
Take out a piece of paper and create categories as if they were little treasure boxes. Imagine them in whatever color, size and design you would like. Embellish them with jewels if you choose. Some might be labeled HEALTH, CAREER, LOVE, PROSPERITY, FRIENDSHIPS, SPIRITUALITY (the length of the list is up to you.) Under each heading, let flow words that describe what you are calling into your life in the next 365 days.
In my case, they are:
Vibrance and vitality, as I walk, dance, do my gym ‘playouts’ and eat mindfully and healthfully. Oh and I almost forgot…..take time to rest and re-create.
Doing work that I love, such as full time writing and speaking that serves to guide others in living the lives of their dreams and desires.
Attracting/co-creating a completely satisfying, mutually supportive, safe, healthy, loving romantic partner relationship.
Bringing in financial abundance for the labor of love that is my creative work. This is money that I willingly spend, save, donate and share.
Surrounding myself with treasured friends with whom I experience mutual enrichment.
Feeling a continual connection with the ‘God of my understanding’, experiencing a ‘transfusion from Heaven’.
I encourage you to share your list with trusted ones who will stand with you in seeing these seeds come to fruition.
As I take the next month to sit with my own visions, I am allowing for ‘this or something better to manna-fest, for the Highest Good of all concerned’. As I do the dance to take me the next steps and turns around the sun, I celebrate being a seasoned woman.
