Life is always flowing, moving and changing, it is never staying still. Change is the only constant thing in the universe, whether we choose to fight it or flow with it determines our experience.
Everyone experiences peaks and dips in their lives, some of those peaks and dips are bigger than others. When life is flowing well, it is easier to go with it and be happy, but when an ebb is experienced, it can seem as if the flow has stopped and we will never be able to be back in it again. It is times like these that it is important to remember that life moves in ebbs and flows and one cannot come without the other. Life literally flows like the ocean, when we observe nature, especially the ocean surface, it can serve to remind us of the way life moves in flow.
“Those who flow as life flows know they need no other force.” ~ Lao Tzu
The Peaks
Some suggest that it is not while being passive and relaxed that we feel the most alive and in flow, but while being fully engaged in life through pursuits that are enjoyable, or by moving beyond physical or mental limits into new areas of achievement. Peaks can also be experienced as a sense of fulfilment and contentment that seems to resonate deep inside, often this is accompanied by a feeling of gratitude for one’s life.
Enjoy the peaks, don’t waste these experiences being pre-occupied by menial tasks, dive deeply into their flow and rejoice in the moment. Some people find that when things in their life are good, they think they are too good or fear that they will lose them, but even this way of thinking can rob you of the experience of these precious moments. Allow yourself to enjoy the peaks knowing you fully and completely deserve them.
The Ebbs
After a peak usually follows an ebb, whether this is a minor or major ebb, the best way to utilise these times is to remember that everything is temporary and so is this part. A lot of growth and learning comes during the ebbs. Trying to hold onto the peaks can cause regret and melancholy, so it can be helpful to avoid judging yourself or the situation as much as possible, but allow it to be a time of reflection and growth. Be grateful for everything positive that you have experienced; process and release any frustrations and upsets. Forgive yourself and others for any judgements or decisions you feel could have been handled differently as these only affect you in the present moment, no-one else. Ebbs are a time of great healing, where positive learnings, re-assessment and re-balancing can take place. They are a time to re-evaluate our future direction to gather our resources and move forward.
Gratitude vs Regret
When life changes, it can be easy to live in the past with judgement and regret, but the only person this affects is you. Regret is toxic and bitter to the body and mind and can eat away at happiness. Gratitude can be a powerful ally in defeating regret. When you repeatedly choose to be filled with gratitude for every wonderful moment that you have experienced, you are choosing to place your focus and attention in a different way that opens the heart rather than closing it. By choosing to be grateful you are choosing to focus on the positives instead of the negatives and your whole mind and body responds to this by feeling more complete. I have always found gratitude to be the best route through loss of any kind. The more you practise gratitude, the more things you find to be grateful for.
The present moment
Being in the present moment as much as possible can be a very helpful way to experience the flows of life and allow each moment to be whatever it is, enjoying the highs and passing through the lows without being overwhelmed by them. In truth, it is in the holding on to the positive and negatives of the past and projecting that into the future that creates fear and prevents us from living fully in the present moment. There are many techniques available that can assist with living more in the now. Sometimes after a painful time in life, it can feel too painful to be in the present moment with the pain and then we try to avoid it. At these times, it is important to be kind to ourselves and allow ourselves to process and release the pain in healthy and gentle ways, whether that is through therapy, being in nature or just allowing ourselves time to heal. When we allow ourselves to live more fully in the present moment, then we do not bring all our pain and fears into it, it can become a place of peacefulness, healing and sanctuary.
What we resist persists
When you resist change, you are going against the flow of life. Rather like trying to swim upstream against the current, nothing seems to flow when this is happening. Humans are creatures of habit and whether it is good or bad, change is always uncertain and that can cause people to fight against it. The power of allowing can transform internal chatter and external stress into something much easier without using all of your energy to deal with it.
Guide to Flowing with Life:
- Be fully present in each moment
- Enjoy every peak without missing out on it through worry or fear
- Choose to know that life always moves in ebbs and flows
- Utilise the ebbs to reflect, re-group and re-assess
- Release judgements of self and others
- Replace regret with gratitude
- Avoid resisting change, embrace it
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