Pamela Cummins shares guidance for helping those who are living with an abuser. Whether mental, emotional or physical, abuse is abuse.
Dear Pamela,
What is wrong with my coworker, Sarah? I know for a fact her husband is beating her up. I’ve seen bruises and she recently went to the hospital. She says she hurt herself by tripping and falling down, but it’s got to be that jerk husband. Why doesn’t she just leave the bastard?
From,
Judy
Dear Judy,
My guides are saying, “This is how she was raised, she is perpetuating generations upon generations of behavior.” In other words, Sarah is a product of her environment. I get that her Father was abusive to her Mother, my guides cut in and said – physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. It was a learned behavior and seems normal to Sarah. This is what she thinks is love; sad, but true. The other thing I’m getting is Sarah’s Dad left them, and her Mom continued to get involved with abusive men. I got a vision of an empty bottle of vodka, so there must have been alcoholism involved, too.
“Just like her father,” is what I am hearing my guides say. That means she chose a husband just like her Dad. Sarah subconsciously chooses a man similar to her Father because she is trying to work through the issues of physical abuse so she can move forward in her spiritual growth. I heard a Fleetwood Mac song “Go your own way.” The lesson Sarah needs to learn is to break the abuse cycle and begin a new way of living.
Judy, I’m getting that you want to offer her a place to stay. I got a vision of a man breaking through a door. For your own safety, please don’t do it. Sadly, I’m feeling she is not quite ready to leave him. She still thinks she loves him and is terrified to leave him. Deep down inside she thinks she deserves this.
The other thing I am getting is she was also sexually abused as a child by another family member. She has so many things to overcome and you can’t help her. She needs professional help, which she eventually will get when she hits rock bottom.
The Angels are reminding you that in your family the women like to bake and are usually taller than average. Just like your family characteristics are a part of you, so are Sarah’s family characteristics. It is normal for you to bake. Granted, baking is much healthier than abuse.
I heard Aretha Franklin sing, “Rescue me.” Judy, another family trait you have is being the caretaker and the rescuer. Again, my guides are warning you not to rescue her. I heard, “She’s not like one of your orphan animals from your youth; she is a human being. Give her the dignity to make her own choices.” I did get a vision of putting pamphlets on her desk. I see the middle drawer of the desk opening up. My interpretation of that is pamphlets seem to be okay, to respect her privacy, and be very discreet when you attempt to give them to her.
The rest of the column will be coming from the coach part of me, not the psychic part. If you are in an abusive relationship:
- Any type of abuse is never okay.
- If you were abused mentally, emotionally, spiritually, or physically in the past, please know that it wasn’t your fault. It is your fault if you continue to stay in the relationship and pattern.
- You can’t make someone change no matter how much you love them, only they can change themselves. This is true for the abuser and the person being abused.
- Would you like to spare your children or future children from being abused? You are the one who needs to stop the cycle of abuse.
- Women are not the only one being abused, men can also be with an abusive partner.
- There is help available and you have the strength inside to reach out for that help. Many battered women’s organizations will provide shelter and other things needed to help you.
- Change doesn’t occur overnight, you will have to work hard at it, and it is worth it.
- Just because you changed, doesn’t mean your partner or family members will change, too. You can be a living example of stopping the abuse cycle.
- Always put your safety first, sometimes we will need to cut off and to let go people who are toxic.
- Prayer and meditation will help you during this time and the rest of your life…
Please send your love and relationship questions to pamelabellesprit@gmail.com Pamela Cummins aka “The Musical Psychic” is also a radio show host and coach. She is the author of Psychic Wisdom on Love and Relationships, Insights for Singles: Steps for Everlasting Love, the FREE eBook Pamela’s Love Collection, and Learn the Secret Language of Dreams. To learn more, please visit www.pamelacummins.com
