Are you stressing over a decision? The moments of indecision can be very trying. Do you find yourself agonizing over what to do? Have you ever wished that someone would just give you the correct answer? I have!
Remember when you were a child and you would ask your Mother, “Is it okay if I…?” She made the decision for you, even if you did not like the answer. As an adult, decision-making is not always easy, because now we must decide for ourselves.
The game “Mother May I?” comes to mind; the one where you ask if you are allowed to take a step forward. The person playing “Mother” says, “Yes” and tells you how many steps you can take, or she says “No.” Well, now you decide whether you go forward and by how many steps. This isn’t a game anymore, is it? Decision-making can be much harder now that we are choosing for ourselves, especially for procrastinators.
Making a decision can be as easy as just deciding to do it. Saying yes or no, and giving yourself permission to do so. Having faith that everything will work out.
Life can be full of tough or seemingly tough decisions.
What type of decision maker are you? Analytical, Impulsive, Play it Safe, or Escape Artist?
Analytical – Analyzing every detail; Looking at every outcome; “What if’” thinking.
Impulsive – Just deciding at that moment. Wow, Could you do that? That seems very freeing.
Play it safe – Choosing the less risky decision; Going with the majority; Listening to others more than self.
Decision-making leads me to think of the 2 of swords found in the Tarot. For those of you unfamiliar with the tarot, this card depicts a Lady who is holding two swords crossed in front of her heart. She is blindfolded. There is a lake behind her suggesting the element of emotions. The two swords represent two decisions or thoughts, which she is trying to balance. Often we get trapped or stuck between two choices. The choice at this time is unclear, and two decisions are perhaps causing her stress. She is finding it difficult to stand her ground. She can’t see in front of her because her blindfold represents stress, confusion, anxiety, or anything else which prevents her from choosing.
The blindfold can be a disadvantage or an advantage. Depending whether you need to see in order to make a decision. Distractions can also cloud one’s vision. Fear can intrude as well, equally blindfolding us.
On the other hand, is the blindfold an advantage? Perhaps it is better for us that we cannot see into the future. Thus, we base our decisions while in the present moment. For as children, we were living just in the present moment. We were free of fears and did not worry about our family beliefs, etcetera. Being blindfolded, we are, as in meditation, able to focus with our eyes closed. This allows us to be centred and balanced in the present moment. In this way, we remain calm and can listen to the guidance we receive. When we are stuck in the worries and fears of indecision, our vision becomes cloudy. Fear is false expectations appearing real or worse, fear is illusion masking itself as reality. In addition, being blindfolded helps to shield us from viewing other’s reactions during our decision-making. Without distraction or fear, we can decide more easily.
When we are blindfolded, we can be more conscious of what we say out loud and of our thoughts. Often, when we give advice, we don’t hear the words that we are speaking. We tend to state our advice. However, do we actually absorb what we say? The saying ‘walk your talk’ comes to mind. How can we expect someone to take our advice if we do not use it ourselves? So easy to speak it, not so easy to follow it.
The woman in the 2 of swords is pictured crossing her arms over her heart. This gesture leads you to focus inward and to get in touch with your heart space. It also allows you to shield your heart from outside influences.
The swords represents the thoughts and the ‘should’ and the ‘should not’s’, which are weighing heavily on her shoulders. This image reflects her thoughts as being up in the air. She is actually caught in the middle. The best move for her to take is to sit with them and focus inward. By doing this, she will calm that storm which is perhaps stirring inside her head and her heart. Connecting with her inner guidance will help her to choose.
As an adult, you are the one who needs to give yourself permission to choose. Yes, permission. So often, we don’t allow ourselves permission to do something. To have permission, we must first allow ourselves to receive this opportunity. We will ask everyone else to give us permission and we will follow his or her orders. Ironically, we willingly jump at the opportunity to give others permission and advice. Giving advice is easy, after all what do we have to lose? However, when it comes to making a decision for ourselves, we stress over our options, and which one might be the right decision. Oh the agony!
If we stress too much about our options, then we can over think them and risk becoming stuck. At this point, we are not listening to our higher self or our heart. We need to go with our gut feeling, or risk over analysing our choices. By simply listening and trusting your inner guidance, you will be amazed at the ease of making a decision. In the process of making the decision, often there is the “Doubting Thomas” that loves to get in the way. This, as you know, is the ego’s way of stopping us. The ego loves to stop us from moving forward, or trusting ourselves. The Higher Self would want us to listen to our inner guidance and succeed. What do you do when Doubting Thomas shows up at your door? Do you invite him in to stay, or ask him to leave? I know, I have battled with Doubting Thomas throughout my life. Now, we have become friends. I know he is still there waiting for me to invite him in, but I have now become the one in charge. Trust and faith are his enemies. As long as you have faith and trust in yourself and the guidance you receive from your Higher Self, then life is good.
Remember to pay attention to your thoughts and how you verbalize them. Think law of attraction – your thoughts can create your reality. If you feel you will make the wrong decision…guess what? If you feel you will regret the decision…guess what? However, if you think everything will work out and you will be happy with your decision…then guess what? You will be.
Referring to Trust, as a child we had complete trust in our Mother and her decisions. We never doubted her answers, and valued what she said as the truth. Then as a teenager, we started to rebel against what she said or wanted. We knew what was correct or right. Well, at the time we thought we did. You know, Mothers didn’t know anything during that time. As we grew and became a Mother ourselves, we slowly discovered she was right and did know something. She became a woman of wisdom. Then as years go by, we notice we may make the same decisions or say the same things. You know that moment when you said “Oh no, that is what my Mother would have said or would have done.” After she has passed over, you may find you still want that wisdom. There are times when you think, “What would my Mom do or say?” You even yearn to have a surrogate mother type in your life. Then as the years go by, one day you become that Wise Mother, that Wise Woman to someone else.
It is interesting how the cycle continues. No matter if, at times, we don’t want to hear our Mother’s opinion, we still find times when we do. When life was so simple, we just had to ask and the advice or decision was made for us.
There are times when we hold on to what our Mother would have wanted, and sometimes that isn’t the correct thing for us at this time of our life. Things change, we change, and we may battle with going against our Mother’s wants or opinions. In addition, that makes it difficult because we feel we are being a bad child if we do. Guilt sets in and interferes with our decision. Those are the times when, if we are really listening to our Higher Self or the inner guidance, it is better to go with our gut feeling. In addition, remind yourself to tell Guilt to take a hike. Remember, there will be times when our own child will do the same thing to us. Moreover, we need to step back.
Inside every woman is a Wise Woman that is perhaps hidden from view wanting to be discovered. Believe it or not, there is a Wise Woman in us all. For some women, it is hard to believe. There is one in every man, too, (Though we know for sure that behind every successful man, there is a wise woman). When Mother’s Day comes around, perhaps this year thank your Mother for the wisdom she gave you. Don’t forget to say hello to the Wise Woman in you. This Mother’s Day, ask your “Wise Woman” how many steps you should take forward. Or ask where you should step forward next in your life with faith and trust in your own wise wisdom from within.
