“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”  (Marianne Williamson, Harper Collins, 1992. —Peter McLaughlin)

What does the word power make you think of? Do you think of power as being big and strong?  We live in a world where some people want lots of power and yet others are scared of having any.  In this month’s column I will be examining all aspects of power and how you can own your own power.

We are so powerful that sometimes we can dis-empower ourselves by being less than our true selves, by playing small to fit in and be accepted by others or by giving our power away to others.  Sometimes people fear becoming powerful, in case they will change or fear that they will abuse that power.

We are all very power-full beings.  If one day you found out that you had the power to change your life and create anything you wanted would you feel excited and happy or would you feel apprehensive? In truth everybody already has this power within them as your thoughts, beliefs and feelings are creating your reality all of the time.  I am always surprised when I ask people what they would create if they had the power to change anything they wanted about their life and they quite often choose very minimal changes or if they allow themselves to have big dreams, then I ask them if they had everything their heart could desire right now how they would feel and they report feeling overwhelmed.  It’s like people don’t want to ask for too much or be too powerful.

Somehow being powerful has become inextricably linked with the ego, sometimes it is even viewed as arrogant.  But what is power???? Isn’t love powerful? Can’t a gentle or kind word be far more powerful than 100 harsh ones?  Showing compassion can be immensely powerful in some situations. There are many aspects to power; there is the power of love, of thought, of peace, of compassion, of knowledge, of physical strength, of a mother’s love, the power of words.  When power is started to be viewed in these terms it is no longer just about force and strength, it becomes less scary to think of being powerful.  When you start to acknowledge your own powers in these terms, then there is nothing to be afraid of about owning your own power.  In fact it becomes something to be proud of, something that is no longer ego based or overwhelming.

The ego based view of power comes from people having power over others, but the need to over-power others comes from fear.  If more people were in their own power, they would not experience this fear and the need to control would be much less.  No one can take your power away from you, even saying this to yourself can make you stronger.  Others can only make you believe they are more powerful than you.  Once this illusion is shattered, they literally lose their power over you. I often see clients who give away their power in relationships because they believe that if they stand up for themselves, their thoughts, feelings and beliefs they might lose that love. Quite often they are made to feel that they are lucky to get the love they are getting and it is the only love they will get, even if this love is not always healthy.  Once they learn to love themselves and realise that love does not live outside themselves they can start to see that they can be their true selves AND have love without having to give up any of who they are or feel less in any way.  Then they have reclaimed their POWER and released the illusion of power the other person appeared to have over them.

Owning your own power then can be translated as being your true self being comfortable and at peace with who you are in your own space no matter where you are, what you are doing or who you are with.  This is a process that can be developed and nurtured on its journey.  It is not all about waking up one day and feeling you can take on the world, although this can feel good sometimes.  It is about embracing and accepting all of yourself at the deepest levels, valuing all of your individual thoughts, dreams, beliefs, likes and dislikes (your powers) and knowing how it feels to value, respect, honour and be proud of everything that is you without having to give any of that up for anything or anyone or in any situation.  It is knowing that it is safe for you to be your true self and that you can have what you want AND be your true self.

This is a journey, it is a process and all it requires to start is the decision to embrace who you really are, one step at a time, the rest will happen naturally.  Some parts of ourselves are easier to accept than others and some parts of the journey into owning our own power are easier than others.  Some parts of this process require us to look at our motives and in what areas of our lives we are trying to please others or live up to an image we have created and move through those fears to be your true self.  Having kindness and compassion for yourself can be a great place to start.  I have met many people who have always been very hard on themselves, thinking that was what was best for them, only to discover that they respond much better to gentleness and now that they have embraced that as a strength rather than a weakness it allows them to be gentle and show gentleness for themselves and others without fear of appearing weak.  They have delved beneath their own fears about appearing weak to fully own the power of gentleness within them and feel stronger than before.

Meditation for owning your own power

Find somewhere where you won’t be disturbed for 10-20 minutes

Sit or lay down, making yourself comfortable

Close your eyes and take 3 deep breaths in

Imagine breathing in pure white light from the centre of the earth into your centre, building up a ball of white light. Imagine this light is filled with the power of unconditional love, totally accepting and non-judgemental.

Now allow this ball of white light to expand outwards from your centre and as it does, it bathes every cell, every organ, every memory, every emotion in the purest unconditional love, effortlessly dissolving any areas of discomfort or resistance (notice any areas that this happens with) bathing it all in light.

Continue to expand the ball of light to surround you, until it is about 12” away from the edges of your body, so you are now completed bathed and surrounded and protected by this ball of light.

This is YOUR SPACE, take a few deep breaths in and rest and relax, just BEING in your space.

Say to yourself, I am love and light, I am.  I love, honour and value all that I am.

When you are ready, gently wiggle your fingers and toes and bringing your attention back to your breath, gently open your eyes

Repeat this exercise at least a few times a week and just notice how much more comfortable you begin to feel about yourself.

Thanks.  Love, light, joy & giggles
Pippa King