How many times should you keep going back to an ex-lover before you realize it is time to move on?

Dear Pamela:

When I got together with my ex-boyfriend about two and a half years ago it was at a very difficult time in my life. I broke up with him several times and then ran back. After the third time, he refused to take me back. We have been apart for a year and a half now. After I begged and begged for him to come back he refused to continue the cycle. I discontinued calling him. After 6 months, he called me and we were talking once in a while for the last six months without any progression. At one point, I said to him, “We haven’t seen each other for a long time and we don’t even know if we would still like each other – wouldn’t you kind of like to know?” He replied, “Yes,” sounding very sincere. However, since that time, he still has not asked me out (he had a fairly major surgery shortly after that conversation). It just doesn’t seem that we can get on the same page. I stopped by his house about a month ago and he was obviously still recovering from surgery (ice on his shoulder).We talked for over two hours like we had never separated even though we hadn’t seen each other for a year and a half. Our relationship never came up.

Should I move on? Should I ask him how he feels? I never got over him and still have him in my thoughts often. My life is together now and I would like to be with him.

Thank you.
Loretta

Dear Loretta:

I read the first sentence of your email and my guides immediately said, “Outgrown and holding on.” They are playing the song lyric “He don’t love you, like I love you.” I just got a vision of a woman who is eating a roll that is burnt on the bottom.

What the above tells me is you are holding on to something that is in the past. You think you love him better than anyone else can. The message also refers to your ex-boyfriend, he has outgrown you and cannot fully trust you because he has been burnt by you. The burnt roll is showing you are in denial of this.

When I look at your ex, I see a really good guy who has moved on. He does occasionally reminisce about what might have been. The Love Channel believes yes, he really did love you at one time. My guides just played the song, “Once bitten twice shy.” I’m hearing loud and clear that he cannot trust you. You may not like what my guides are saying, but this is the message I am getting – he allowed you to visit him because he was bored. He would not allow you to take care of him during his recovery time, which says a lot about him wanting you as a girlfriend. The majority of men would let a woman take care of them whether or not they were involved. I keep getting there is someone else for him.

Yes is the answer to your question about if you should move on. I heard the song lyric, “Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream.” I see you going down a river and looking at a man who is ashore. You want to row over to him, however, there is a huge Angel behind you forcing you forward. I see this happening three times. I am interpreting that to mean the first man is your ex and the other two are men in the future.

I know you said your life is together, unfortunately, this Love Channel getting it is not the time for you to have a committed relationship. I can feel anger from you when you read that. My guides are reinforcing that by saying, “It is not time yet, focus on you. Your life, goals, spirituality, and growth.” I’m getting that there is emotional healing that needs to be done first. Your guides want you to look at your behavior in the last relationship to avoid repeating it.

I heard, “One banana, two banana, three banana.” The bananas are very brown and overripe. That feels like three men again. I wonder if this could be three men from the past and heard – future.  Please know that you do have the free will to jump into a relationship with the next two men being presented to you. With that I heard, “Same old, same old.” The guides are strongly advising to go out, date, and have fun. They are also saying – be patient, give yourself a year to focus on yourself, enjoy being single. If you do that, the one that is right for you will come in.

Blessings,
Pamela

Please send your love and relationship questions to the Love Channel pamelabellesprit@gmail.com