This is a topic I approach with some trepidation.
I do not want to offend or add to the pain of those affected by senseless tragedies, nor appear to absolve evil doers or minimize the impact tragedies have on us.
Neither do I want to take a safer, more comfortable road that would water down the promise of hope and healing we can experience when we challenge ourselves and open our hearts, even in the midst of tragedy.
What I do want, is for light to triumph over darkness, to redeem in some way what was meant for evil, and to bring good from it so we can heal and evolve in mind and spirit. We have that power.
Why? How Could You?
In the wake of the slaughter at Sandy Hook Elementary school, followed by the ambush of four New York firefighters, we are left with more questions than answers. Perhaps the toughest questions are, “Why?” or “How could you?”
Those questions have been echoed for millennia in response to many such acts against each other, personally and collectively. Why were thousands murdered in the World Trade Center? Why were millions murdered in the genocides of Africa and World War II? How could you kill your own children? Or your parents? How could you?
Core Problem or Symptom?
In our desire to fix it and feel safe, we point our fingers at guns, poor diet, human hard-wiring, feeling purposeless and hopeless, inadequate mental health care, corrupt governments, brainwashing, religious fanaticism, broken dysfunctional families, poverty, and endless hours in front of shoot ‘em dead video games and movies. No denying, these factors are pieces of the puzzle.
What if, though, instead of thinking of those issues and countless more as the core problem, we thought of them as symptoms? Perhaps, the real causes go much deeper. Perhaps, with the possible exception of some mental conditions, we are only pointing our fingers and efforts at symptoms of a deeper disease.
Yes, to treat those symptoms might make things appear better for a while. Sometimes that is the best and only choice we have, whether we are talking personal illness or the sicknesses of society. It reminds me of the analogy of putting a band-aid on skin cancer. Or taking a cholesterol pill to prevent heart disease while ignoring the inflammation raging within and what fuels it.
The problem is not treating symptoms. The problem is that we think that by treating symptoms we address and cure the problem. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Perhaps, in hopes of true healing, we would be better served to use the symptoms to guide our attention to diseases and wounds of heart and soul, individually and collectively.
Looking Inward
This is a different paradigm. It is much easier to judge situations we perceive as outside ourselves, and ‘evil’ people as the cause. We separate ourselves from them, psychologically and even physically.
What is not so easy is to acknowledge the part we play, even if only by our silence, in creating a society that fosters killing as entertainment, isolation, broken families, and the stigma and lack of support for those suffering with mental illness.
It is not so easy to look into our own hearts and see how we, even to just a small degree, are like them. Have you ever been so angry that you wanted to ‘kill’ somebody? Have you ever ripped someone apart with your words? Or disciplined your children too harshly in anger? I have. I confess to all of the above.
1 John 3:15 says “Whosoever hates his brother is a murderer…” No, of course he is not speaking of literal murder. He is speaking of the heart and soul. When you hate you damage and wound your soul. You hold the energy, or vibrational signature, of murder in your heart. You put that energy into the world whether you intend to or not.
Like those that actually commit such horrible crimes, how much wounding, mental stress, and soul damage would it take to push you from emotion to action?
These words sound harsh. They are not meant to be. They are not intended to judge. But they are a wake-up call, a call to assess in order to heal and to evolve. We have to take an honest look and have the difficult conversations. We can’t make cancer go away by denying its existence.
Colin Tipping (http://www.colintipping.com/blog/) takes this teaching a step further. He says that the people we dislike, our enemies, are our greatest teachers; that they may be offering us the opportunity to heal by either: (a) Mirroring what we hate in ourselves and have denied, repressed and projected onto them. (b) Forcing us to look at something we have repressed, and which remains a core belief or unhealed trauma. (c) Keeping us on track with our mission.
This is not a new concept. As part of my soul journey and evolution, I have ‘worked hard’ to transform a very judgmental spirit into one that is more compassionate and understanding of myself and others. I have prayed, studied, tapped and meditated. More recently, I have applied the intention and words of the ho’oponopono prayer to horrible situations.
Healing with Ho’oponopono
The day of the Sandy Hook shooting, I thought of Dr. Len. The story goes that over a three year period, an entire ward of residents guilty of terrible crimes were all rehabilitated and released. What is incredible is that Dr. Len never saw or treated his patients. He only sat with their charts, their stories, and prayed his version of the ho’oponopono clearing prayer for them and himself.
When I take responsibility and heal myself, I heal all. We are all one.
I love you. Thank you. I’m sorry. Forgive me.
Maybe it was too soon, but when as an act of pure will I prayed that prayer for the Sandy Hook killer, it was really difficult. Here are a few of the words that flowed spontaneously:
For Adam: I love you. I’m sorry you were hurting so badly and no one saw or felt your pain. Forgive me for judging you, for being part of a society that didn’t help you. Thank you for putting it in our faces so maybe we can help others before they do something even worse. Thank you for playing a role I don’t understand.
For the slain: I’m sorry you died. I’m sorry your families and friends are suffering. Forgive me for not protecting you and making your world safer. Thank you for taking the bullets so others could live. Thank you for your lives. You are so precious, I love you.
For me: I love you God. I’m sorry that by my silence I am part of the problem. Forgive me for the hard, cruel places in my heart. Forgive me for the times and ways I hurt others. Thank you for helping me examine my heart and pray for Adam, even though I don’t want to. Even though he is dead, maybe in some way my prayer can help his spirit and all our spirits heal.
Praying that prayer and letting words spontaneously flow brought little comfort in the moment. My logic fought me. My heart and awareness opened a little, but my customary shift to greater perspective and deep compassion eluded me.
I knew for my sake, for the sake of all of us, I had to let it happen.
And eventually, it did. As I finished this article and pondered its lessons, I felt compassion for Adam. Thank you, Adam. Because of you, I expanded my capacity for love and compassion. You were a hard teacher. I pray that from the pain and death you caused will come lessons of light and healing. Perhaps that is redemption.
You see, I believe that in order for love and peace on earth to become a reality, it has to reside in our own hearts first. “Be the change you want to see in the world”, Gandhi said.
As within, so without.
If you want peace, you must be peace. If you want love, you must be love. Even in the midst of trouble. Especially in times of trouble, when it stretches us.
The irony is that when we react to horrible news such as this, and constrict our world to protect ourselves, when we close off our hearts and ourselves, evil wins. Low vibrations prevail. When we risk the illusion of emotional safety, and expand our heart fields, light prevails even in the darkness. Healing begins with me and you.
Love is the great healer.
You make a difference, especially when your energy of love combines with others. This is not woo-woo. This is science.
You matter because your heart generates the largest, most powerful electromagnetic field in your body. Your emotions influence the information put out by this field. Without you saying a word, your heart field influences other peoples’ brainwaves. Their brainwaves literally entrain to your vibrations. Then they pass that vibration on to others. It’s like the ripples of a stone dropped into a pool of water. That’s how powerful you are.
When you emit the energy of gratitude, love and positive emotions, you help create a more harmonious, cohesive collective field. That field will help heal and evolve all of us.
Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is. ~ Gary Zukav
Learn more about ho’oponopono (http://www.holistic-mindbody-healing.com/ho_oponopono.html) and the healing power of love (http://www.holistic-mindbody-healing.com/love-heals.html)
My heart and prayers are with the families and community of Sandy Hook and NYC who were forever touched by the senseless, intentional murders of their children and loved ones.
]]>
