I LOVE ME, I LOVE ME NOT. Kicking your shoes to the floor you take a sip from your celebratory glass of wine and allow the euphoria to wash over you. The interview was grueling, but you were a resounding success. Everyone liked your ideas and the boss knew you were right for the job. As you congratulate yourself, a nagging doubt creeps in. What if they were just being polite? It can only be a matter of time before they discover you are a fraud and totally incompetent. Congratulations! You just devalued your achievement. You really don’t love yourself one bit. When another person admires you, it’s very flattering. You buy into their opinion for a while because it feels good. Then the doubts infiltrate your confidence. We all carry an unhealthy self-hatred to mask any pain encountered during a life of lessons. As children, we are bombarded by the opinions and judgments of adults, parents and teachers. We listen and are forced to agree. We doubt our own ability to make decisions or solve problems. We are terrified someone might discover the truth about how useless we are, and so we cover our actions and statements with a mask. Trying to be perfect all of the time is exhausting, and prevents the free flow of healthy energy in the second level of our auric field. In time, this lowered vibration causes depression and physical ill health. We are able to lavish love on our partners, children and pets, yet judge every move we make as unworthy. Learning to love yourself is healing. Not loving yourself destroys your creativity, your ability to enjoy life, and to heal. Constantly striving to be spiritual is confusing, as it heightens awareness of a higher love, while experiencing lower level human emotions at the same time. How can we be an enlightened spiritual person when we feel so many human emotions? Hate, anger and jealousy are all part of the human condition and contrast starkly with the highs of spiritual bliss. Allowing the negative feelings to flow is healthy and enlightening. What are your negative self-judgments attempting to cover up? Acceptance of who we are and the point we have reached in our awareness of spirituality is vital. Remember the saying “Everything happens for a reason?”  Any negative emotions are there to remind you that the time has come to clear out painful issues and make positive changes. There is a higher purpose to everything in life and trusting this process takes courage. Try this exercise: Dig out some old photographs of yourself, preferably from different times in your life. Look at the images for a while and then write down every negative thought about yourself that comes to mind. Take time to consider what you have written. How relevant are these ideas to your life now? How can you view things differently? If you feel negative emotions let them flow. Don’t be afraid to feel everything. Beneath these feelings is the hurt and pain that causes your self-judgments. As these past hurts heal, life will take on a new meaning; health will improve and happiness levels go sky high. You have taken the first step to loving yourself. Enjoy the feeling, you deserve it. ]]>