AGGRESSIVE OR PASSIVE: HOW DO YOU HANDLE THE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE? Surrounding you are people asking for a helping hand. They may want you to run an errand or simply invite you somewhere you don’t want to go. Your diary is double booked and time for yourself is a thing of the past. Do you react by agreeing to everything and everyone while quietly seething inside, or do you angrily blow your top? There is another way to handle situations like these. You could become more assertive… In last month’s issue of Bellesprit we looked at different aspects of stress management and ways to recognise the warning signs of negative stress burnout. External pressures are often to blame but how does our own personality type affect the way we confront stress? Personalities can be divided into two types Type A personalities are more likely to react aggressively to a stressful situation. These people are usually highly competitive, workaholics and dynamic. Type B personalities are more relaxed, easy going and don’t appear worried about responsibility. Aggressive people tend to manipulate passive types in order to get their own way. Often spoiled as children they rampage through life, getting others to do things against their will and reacting violently if their victims don’t respond to bullying tactics. Loudly trying to put their point across they will interrupt, not listening to anyone else’s opinion and talk over the other person’s conversation. An aggressive person must win at all cost, whether in the workplace or at play. These people cause untold stress for others. Passive behaviour is by nature timid and non confrontational. Keeping the peace is more important than causing conflict even though this situation is detrimental. Putting others first is kind but often involves someone neglecting their own needs. It is vital to take care of your own needs and this is not selfish. Timid characters are often unable to express their emotions and feelings and will say “yes” when the best possible answer for them should be “no.” They spend their time quietly seething with anger and resentment at their own inability to stand up for themselves. Passive people will be vague about their ideas and needs, giving the impression that they don’t really care what happens. If they are turned down, however, they will apologise excessively and feel rejected. Aggressive or passive behaviour can be changed by learning how to become assertive. Techniques may be learned which will increase confidence so that others know where they stand. Then you have a better chance of achieving what you want from life. People feel comfortable with an assertive person, boundaries are clearly defined and everyone is happier expressing their own true feelings. Decisions are easier to reach and problems are resolved creatively. To become assertive you must believe in your own point of view and stick firmly to it. You will be open and honest, listen to another’s opinion and show respect for any beliefs and ideas that differ from your own. You will not get sidetracked or manipulated into changing your mind or backing down. By expressing yourself clearly you will respect yourself in order to respect others. Next time you encounter a stressful situation stop for a moment and monitor your natural reaction. It’s never too late to make some all important changes to your thinking, improve your relationships, and live a happier stress free life. Remember that a little thought and love goes a long way!]]>