Now let’s imagine you could go back to bed and just start this day all over again and instead it goes like this: You wake up to the smell of hot coffee, ten minutes before the alarm is due to go off. You feel refreshed and rested. Looking in your back yard you see birds flitting about. The sun shines brightly through a soft rainbow brushing the sky like brilliant art work. Arriving at the grocery store you park a little further away than you would have liked yet the contrast of the chill in the air and the blazing sun is so refreshing. The air smells so good and feels heavenly in your lungs. The line at the check-out is a bit long giving you time to flip through the magazines catching up on the latest star gossip. At the check-out a sweet young girl rings up your items when you both realize the credit card machine is not working. Apologizing, the cashier calls for assistance as you and the cashier joke about how the credit card machine seems to be mocking you with a Madrid of zeros. What a complete and total difference there is in those two experiences.
Think of the days you have noticed someone being very rude to you and you just snapped at them. Do you know their story? Maybe they were rushing around to attend a funeral of a loved one that passed suddenly. Or perhaps that very day this person was diagnosed with cancer. Maybe the person who seems short with you is the cashier that left work in tears due to a very rude customer losing her job along with self-esteem. The job was to pay her rent. Now she is off looking for work and a place to live as her finally pay check is on hold while management decides what course of action to take over the incident with the credit card machine. Or remember the days when you were feeling just terrible. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Of course when your car acts up you are in a zone where you are out of service so you can not call for help, however a passerby stops and offers a ride to you, while chatting lightly this wonderful stranger stays with you until are safe and sound. This stranger won’t take any money from you for all the help. Or the time you sat in a café right after hearing you had to pay off a law suit that you were sure you would win. A diner at nearby table sees your sadness and worry and starts chatting with you. Just to find out they have the answer you needed in your court case and are willing to help you.
Your emotions and moods affect more than just you, your reactions can make or break someone’s day. Most people do not realize how much of an affect we have on another. How do you want to be remembered in the world? What kind of impact do you want to make. What about our children, what do they see in how you react in different moods? Your children learn from you by watching how you behave.
When children come to me telling me about a class bully, or the grouchy teacher I ask them what this bully’s story is. When the child really looks closely at the bully or the grumpy teacher from the perspective of what is wrong they see things differently. Not every child has a cold glass of milk and hot dinner every night, not every child has someone to kiss his booboos, not every child has a lap to sit on during story time, or a shoulder to cry on when your first crush goes to the dance with someone else. The grumpy teacher could have gotten into a fender bender on the way to work, have an ill parent, or be going through a divorce. Looking at what you can do to help the person instead of focusing on how the person upset you is a terrific way to resolve the issue before it turns into something that only causes more pain. It is a great idea to remind your child during their off moments of their own story and try to resolve their behavior before it begins to affect others. Sometimes but just analyzing why you are in the mood you are in you can come to terms with, or overpower the effect it is having on you, and turn your whole day around.
When your child is in a bad mood and says things he doesn’t mean you can say “I understand that your story isn’t too good today. You fell off your bike and really hurt your knee then the medicine I put on it gave you a sting. Your juice spilled all over your shirt and your favorite book we left at grandma’s house. So I understand how upset you are and that you didn’t mean what you said.” Imagine what a great lesson your child can learn from talking through a bad situation. This can also give the child a closer perspective when others are upset. It is a very special thing to see a child who is picked on that can be a big enough person to ask “what can I do to make things better for you.” Sometimes a smile and knowing someone is there for you, someone DOES care, is all a person really needs.
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What Do YOU See? by Kelly Said reminds you that every person has a story. Read about it in Bellesprit Magazine goo.gl/Wtbrv — BellespritMagazine (@BellespritMagaz) September 9, 2012]]>
